There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You did what with his pubic hair?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
