OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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