i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
