not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
