she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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