and you said cock pushups were impossible
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
