Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
wow bdsm is so cute
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
