Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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