not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
