And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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