Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
