Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
