All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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