What did we do last night that was yellow?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
