I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just forgot I was standing up.
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