Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize