due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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