so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
