Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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