what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
