Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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