I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
