Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
