I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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