my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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