I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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