You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
