That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
