Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He has the fingertips of a God
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
