I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
