I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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