why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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