He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
