so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
