Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You just made me feel so damn special
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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