After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
