gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
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