thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
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I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
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Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
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