Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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