you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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