Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
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