Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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