She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize