I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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