Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
