Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
