Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So here I am, sexting at work.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
