Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You pole danced in your parka.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
