No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
