420 ftw
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There r osticjed everywhere
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
