My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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