I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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