Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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