I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
